I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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