yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
