He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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