Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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