So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
