it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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