If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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