So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sobbing to NWA
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
