Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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