No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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