google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
