Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My bed smells like the plague
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