I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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