I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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