how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
