He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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