When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
