My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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