I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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