i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
