Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
