just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
