just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
