No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
