How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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