i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
