hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
