why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
