porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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