why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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