First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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