tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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