his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
