I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
