i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
