the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
