one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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