Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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