office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
