Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
