Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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