Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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