Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
