apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
