she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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