you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
