i already hear my dad disowning me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
