I want to make a zoo with you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
