So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
