How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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