she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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