Jerry, you need to find god
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
